Right, it’s been a time of feeling stretched.
I don’t know if you have been experiencing it too?
It’s like the more I try and comfort myself, finding the silver lining, the more I’m feeling frustrated. You might say the opposite effect.
So, in sitting with this and feeling this build, it’s like I’m coming to the realisation that maybe I’ve been avoiding myself and what’s actually going on.
The frustration is not so much in identifying something specific that is ‘wrong’ but more, in the avoidance of self.
Now you might say, ‘Why on earth don’t you just face yourself? Exactly, why do we not just face ourselves?
Because we are scared. Scared of what? Our truth. What truth? The truth that we would have to admit to ourselves that we are (and this is ALWAYS) the reason for our own frustration, discomfort… whatever that is for you.
I’m experiencing a time like this – and that’s why I’m sharing it with you in this blog because maybe more of us are going through this. Because, so many times we hide from the world, people and even ourselves, because of what it would mean to acknowledge something is not sitting ‘lekker’.
The thing is, what took me years to understand, and I kept being given opportunities to practice – is that we need to own taking care of ourselves because, in essence, no one is going to do it for us.
Let me explain to you why I say this. It’s not that it might be that you have no one. No, you might be surrounded by the greatest support crowd that ever existed.
BUT there is an aspect of YOU that needs no one else, but YOU. Only you can question and address that unattended part of you the way that YOU can. I know you might say – ‘but it’s just so much nicer when someone else takes that role’ and you know what – I get that.
For a moment and in the moment, it’s nice because you feel acknowledged, seen, heard, included, a sense of belonging and even safe, but all of this being outside of you, makes it temporary. The ONLY TRUEST everlasting source of ALL these emotions is when you are the source and creator of them for SELF.
What am I saying?
Owning ourselves, by putting ourselves down and checking in with ourselves is the greatest gift of self-love you will ever GIFT yourself. The moment you sit yourself down, even before you start the conversation with yourself, you are going to experience some weird sense of peace that’s going to come over you. And do you want to know what that is?
That’s the aspect of you that’s having the experience of what it feels like to be chosen by its own source, YOU.
God choosing me, because the God-self aspect that is in me and you, is an aspect of God that has turned all focus on SELF and that is complete LOVE.
Our mind, body and spirit will find any possible way to turn you back to the SOURCE of SELF. Even if it means to make you uncomfortable. Because uncomfortability is way ‘cheaper’ than disconnection. Uncomfortability means that there is some sense of connection to SELF that is becoming aware of the possibility of experiencing disconnection of SELF, which ultimately leads to abandonment and loss of SELF.
So what am I saying here? If you are going through a tough time and something feels off or everything around you is rubbing you up the wrong way, it might be the grandest invitation in disguise that’s asking for SELF to CHOOSE self. And with choosing self, to sit yourself down and spend time with self, have communion with self.
The result = mission of self-love accomplished.
Till next time, wishing you the most incredible conversations with self that create such an incredible sphere of inner light that silver linings look pale in comparison to YOUR OWN INNER LIGHT!
Much love and light
Babetza