Lately, I’ve been in a phase where I’ve been anticipating the next BIG ‘download’. It started at the beginning of this year when all of a sudden the downloads just ‘went quiet’.
I first ‘comforted’ myself with the idea that maybe I’m just undergoing an ‘upgrade’ in my tuning-in ability and soon I will have a grander version of receiving downloads; wisdom from the Universe.
So sitting, waiting patiently and in anticipation, it’s four months later and there have been some downloads which honestly I have treasured as I almost felt relieved with it coming through, like I was using it as a way to comfort myself that the Universe hasn’t ‘forgotten’ about me and still found me ‘usable’.
I know, I know, I see it too, it looks terrible. It’s like I’m seeking external validation because I have forgotten my own worth and value.
All of a sudden I found myself in a completely new perspective as to how this experience was allowing me to feel my own enoughness in a completely new way. It felt like a ‘sneaky way’, which I know is not true because the universe is COMPLETELY TRANSPARENT at all times, the only thing that varies is our level of awareness.
So I wrote a piece on enoughness at the end of January. But when writing the piece something felt ‘incomplete’ so I decided to park it until all the information was downloaded. Little did I realize that it wasn’t the download that was incomplete, it was that I was allowed an opportunity to experience a new perspective on enoughness which would bring the download to completion.
I would like to share with you what I received at that time:
Enoughness! Being Enough
It’s like the whole world; so many people are striving to be able to get to a place, a destination, something to become to be able to finally say, ‘I’m enough’.
When I ask people: ‘so what are the requirements of attaining this enoughness?’, it’s like they realize for the first time that they have been chasing a ghost, people told them they are not enough or made them feel like they are not enough but never gave them the lowdown of how to become enough.
What I now realize is that it’s not only people and experiences that can leave us feeling not enough, but we can do it to ourselves when we are holding ourselves to a belief or a perspective of what enough is and not feeling that we are able to live up to it within ourselves.
And in reality, enoughness doesn’t have only one definition – enoughness is as unique as each and every person who walks this earth.
My definition of enoughness and how I see it is going to be as unique as my experience and perspective is, and the same goes for the next person and the next person.
In essence, here is what enoughness in its simplest form means, I ACCEPT ALL OF ME.
But because that’s way too simple to ‘deserve’ the title of I AM ENOUGH, we make it this HUGE thing that no one can give you the true definition of, it almost feels unattainable… as if that was supposed to inspire you to attain enoughness through the impossibleness of arriving there.
Try accepting yourself and feel what owning the responsibility of accepting yourself for all that you are, light and shadow feel like, and that feeling, that’s enoughness. It needs choosing it in every moment and unconditionally – not holding yourself ‘hostage’ to a world belief you picked up somewhere along the line of living life.
So I am back at the question I started with.
Am I stuck or taking a pause?
I now realize I might be stuck and the stuck would be viewing myself in an old way and believing that I can only be that because it made me feel ‘successful’ and that I am limiting myself by not allowing my new state of being to be viewed as successful. And yes, maybe I was catching up with a ‘newer’ version of myself that might have felt like a ‘pause’ to my mind, but that feels extremely valuable to me as a SOUL and that maybe it’s time for my SOUL to bring my mind up to speed in the sense of what stuck and pause means. Maybe my whole being is being invited to an ‘upgrade’ that the world has nothing to do with and I was just PROJECTING my not taking ownership of my own ‘mindset’ and that all of this is just a whole process of a new level of awareness that is presenting me with the opportunity to remain or change.
Being in ‘remain’ for a while now, which my critical mind interpreted as stuck, I am excited to embark on a new level of awareness within myself and I stand in gratitude for what I have perceived as a pause, a very valuable pause I may add. Sometimes it’s okay to not just acquire, but that we actually take a moment and digest, have the experience, feel what it feels like, explore and try new avenues. Maybe through this process, I can experience all aspects of my ENOUGHNESS.
Thank you for taking a moment to enjoy this nugget of life happening to us and for us.
Until next time, stay blessed and enjoy the experience of life you are creating for yourself.
Love and blessings
Babetza